We reached Mysore after a gruelling eleven hours on a packed suspension-free bus. The main attraction here was the palace and nearby temple reached by one thousand steps. Or bus. After visiting the hotel's resident astro-palmist and receiving a vague but almost identical future prediction (except that alex would marry a photographer and i a doctor - good to see the caste sytem alive and kicking!) we headed to the palace and found that the tourist enrtry fee had recently been multiplied by ten. As we hovered at the gates considering the budget a friendly local bobby approached. He offered, out of kindness and for a bit of baksheesh, to let us in to the grounds for twenty minutes so we could at least take photos of the palace without the ridiculous fee. How much did he want? - 'as you wish' was the inevitable answer. But no less than two hundred was what he meant. As we were about to pay we discovered that entry to the ground was in fact free - much to his displeasure and the benefit of our beer budget.
The inside of the frigging palace
Where there are people with food there are Monkeys trying to steal it.
When people (men) over here ask me for a photo they really mean can they have a photo with Julie, who they love to include, closer, a little closer! So the current technique is that i say yes emphatically ("OF COURSE! YES! PLEASE!") and Julie scarpers leaving them with me, posing macho-man style/ shirt off/ mucle poses, you name it. Not the picture they were banking on bragging to their mates about, but something a little spicy and why not. These guys benefited from both my professional skills and striking pose. Lucky lads.
This one's for you Pam!
The over priced tourist trap is this way sir!
Weird birds
Ornate buildings
And Cows
Havin g had enough of dodgy coppers, lying rickshaw drivers and enldess offers to visit the cigarette rolling bazaar, we took pity on ourselves and Julie transplanted my christmas present to the bussle of Mysore where we spent a night in the Opulent 'Park Lane Hotel'. When i say opulent it had a TV and real grown-up's mattress (no mickey mouse/garfield/snoopy print on it as seems standard everywhere else). There was however a restaurant serving cold beer. The atmosphere was unique - a fibreglass jungle book scene replete with Indian classical musicians playing not Indian "classical music" as suggested by posters but nursery rhyme melodies in a downbeat surf riff style. The menu was brimming with sage advise so we have recorded it for your perusal.
I'll have the number six please. You see the kind of high class establishment we frequent!
Such hospitality, you needn't even trouble yourself to leave the table!
Incase you didn't heed that advice here's some handy tips.
Beer thief Chuck Norris.
The palace at night from the roof of our hotel. And free.
In an attempt to visit a more tranquil place we climbed the.. ok we got the bus up to the temple. Unfortunately it ws a case of tips "as you like" all over the shop. From getting your flipflpos back to being annonited with bindi powder to being pushed through the tiny temple and having 'free' garlands and offerings forced into your hands! Six hundred steps away from the chaos we found Nandi the Bull(coated in coconut husk and ghee, yum) as ridden by Shiva. Four hundred steps to go....
Made it.
Back to modern day India - Holy Shit! Check those trousers.
Mysore's saving grace. The Hotel RRR's thali. An all-you-can-eat Andhra Pradesh-style spicy curry pick'n'mix served up on a fresh banana leaf. Alex took the challenge and developed the food sweats. This is a lesser known tropical illness which if not monitored closely can progress to the sometimes fatal food coma.
As we left Mysore we pleased to see that the railway protection force had our backs.
