Our next destination was Allepey, the "Venice of the East", famed for its canals and intricate network of backwaters. The main draw of Allepey is the backwaters. Many Indian and Western tourists come here to spend a day winding lazily through the tranquil waterways, and a star-studded evening floating under the Keralan sky. Excited by this prospect and having had rave reviews from friends, family and travel guides alike we organized ourselves a barge excitedly awaited our trip.
Our barge (above) was clean and compact and although some of the other ones were perhaps more grand we were pleased, and after meeting the pleasant crew we set off.
The backwaters lived up to their reputation in terms of beautiful scenery. Emerald green rice paddies lined by swaying palm trees, fishing boats, kids on their way to school and women beating the crap out of their river-rinsed washing loads. Not forgetting of course, the ubiquitous semi-naked youths acting up for the camera.
It wasn't long however before our captain began to act rather strangely and somewhat eclipse the wondeful scenery with his bizarre behaviour. We were served a delicious lunch of okra, cabbage flavoured with coconut and mustard seeds, sambar and some of the fluffiest rice we've seen. Captain Krishna turned butler and began to serve up the disheds, not allowing either myself or Alex to help ourselves. That was our first clue. He then positioned the plates the precise distance from our mouths and hovered around the table topping them up, despite our protestations, with whatever he felt we needed more of.
After lunch he brought us a tray of afternoon tea and biscuits which he proceeded to pretend to throw at my head. Confusing. Was this in jest? Was i not eating quickly enough? Was it the biscuits?
Distracted, the ever-stranger Krishna wondered off to find a parking spot for the night. As you can see we were not the only tourists enjoying the solitude of the backwaters, there were about eight hundred and fifty others. But none i bet with a captain like our Krishna.
As the darkness crept in and we waited for the galaxy of stars to present itself we gazed at the other boats softly lit in the dusky sky. Waiting for perhaps a candle to be lit, Krishna then hops up from his recumbent position and flicks on the fluorescent light strip. We are bathed in neon.
We appear to be the only barge with this particular feature. To make the most of this astounding on-board visibility we deal some cards. To take the edge off this astounding visibility we open some wine. Not just any wine, this was India's finest - Grover's Estate. As we sat in our floating fluorescent Eastern Venetian motel, sipping vinegar from sherry glasses (which had also been mock-thrown in a jocular/threatening manner this time at Alex) and playing Rummy, we thought romance had reached its peak. At which point Krishna skulks past (have we not been entertaining enough?) sweeps up our half finished game (not a word of explanation) and re-deals the cards, for three. We continued for almost two hours, despite attempts to explain that we dont actually know how to play. Krishna (now employing selective deafness) took no heed, muttering phrases from the only working movie he has decided to play for us. Blood Diamond (gunfire, exploding mines). In Spanish.
Maybe he would get tired and leave us. Mayve we could steal a few moments (light off) to enjoy the stars. Not so. Eventually the rest of the crew shuffle through, stretch out on the couch as we play - apparently it is time for us to go to bed.
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